January 5th

Exactly a year ago on this day my life in KDU started. I remember a lot of things of this day- my dad being there in the morning, me feeling nervous staring at all the unfamiliar faces, my mouth hanging open when I saw Tim at the same college at me (I don't know him personally then but I do know who he is cause of some unmentionable reasons :P). Then I walked into a wrong class and got shoo-ed. But because of that incident, I made a new friend Su Quin :D Later on went into Ewen's lecture and met a whole lot of other people. Noticed this nice girl and I've no idea why, but I started smiling at her whenever I see her. Of course this girl turned out to be Thessa, my partner in crime :D Lol!

Good times, good times indeed. Before I started, I wondered if I'll have a good time there cause all my other friends went to Disted. So yes, I started out as a loner but now since my course is over, I left having many friends and fond memories. Despite the difficulty of my lessons and long hours of classes, if given a chance to experience it all over again, I think I would. It hasn't been a smooth ride but it was worth riding nonetheless (okay I don't think I know what I'm writing).

Now I'm waiting to start afresh somewhere else altogether. I don't know how that will turn out. I can only wait then. All of you who has just started school or college, have fun :D

2010

Yes I am home already. Barely enjoyed my last day of 2009 in Penang and everyone has already ushered in 2010. Ah well. Time waits for no one. So Shanghai trip was pretty awesome but freaking cold (it's winter, DUH!). I'll probably elaborate more on it (mostly pictures la) when I feel like posting again, for now I'm feeling pretty lazy. What a great way to kick start a new year!

Hmm.. I think this new year will be the real turning point of my life. My results for A Levels will be out in 24 more days and my future solely depends on that. And I'm telling you, it's going to be a bleak future. I've ruined any chances of getting good grades. I know what I did in my papers so don't tell me otherwise. I'm just praying that somehow, things might not be that bad?

Oh and I don't believe in New Year resolutions. Random fact.

Tuesday

Tomorrow I'm leaving for a white christmas :) Well hopefully it snows there! I love planes and airports.. I like being in one but every time before a trip I always feel as if it will be my last one. I don't know, I always have this feeling of morbidity. This could be the very last time you'll hear from me if anything were to happen! Okay I'm dramatic! Well.. Goodbye then people :) Meow.



* Bye bye pigeon :( ♥ *

Rant.

Life does not seem very interesting right now. I've realized a lot of things- That sometimes friends are not what they seem. That I feel hopeless when I cannot help you. That I have problems and they never stop accumulating. That I'm just like everyone else. That there is nothing about me that makes me stand out. That sometimes I feel like I'm just a bystander, a spectator looking and observing the people around me while never really getting involved. Lastly, I realized that I don't fit in with people whom I thought I know inside out. Sure I have friends. Loads of them. They know my name, I know theirs. They know a lot of things about me but not everything. I have good friends and I am thankful for having them. But I also know that I'm not needed. Usually I need them more than they need me. So now I'll stop. Time to be on my own.

I always wondered- If my school was like a typical American high school that one sees in movies, which clique would I belong to? The smart geeks? Nah I'm too dumb for that. The beautiful yet bitchy cheerleaders? Nope, I don't got the looks and I know I'm too nice. The emo goths? Doubt that. I think I belong with the 'normal' students. But what is normalcy anyway? We all have different views and opinions on that. It is so very subjective. We all think we're normal. We do normal things, we lead normal lives. But then again, we do not really define "normal". Being normal is boring but is being boring normal?

Everyone wants to be someone better that is why we have competitions. And it is true that many of us always try to be different. I won't deny that the same applies to me. Yet I always get this advice: Be who you are. Problem is, who exactly am I? I haven't really discovered myself so how am I suppose to be me? I try to be someone that everyone likes. A proper good girl who finishes her homework and aims for the best things in life. So is this truly who I am or just someone that people want me to be? And now I fit in with society right? I don't know. I'm lost.

Oh well. Nothing new.

Woof.

Woof. Yes woof. Okay can't think of a good title so woof it will have to be! I'm losing interest in blogging. Heck I'm losing interest in a LOT of things. Just wanna sleep and never wake up. Yes. That's true. Maybe I'm too bored. Or I'm just really worried. Ah who knows since even I don't know! Gah.. *bangs head on table*

Anyway, for those who gives a damn about me I just came back from KL. Nothing much to write about. Then watched Princess and the Frog today with TJ. Prior to that, I had lunch with his friends. Ah very awkward moment for me I must say. And so... I was really quiet. Sigh. Well the movie was pretty good.. I like it :) Oh and happy birthday to Vernon and Kah Hou. Thanks a lot for inviting me for lunch though I wasn't that sociable :(

And Tim's leaving :( AND I can't meet up with him before he leaves. Last time I saw him was on the 4th when I spent nearly the whole day with him and TJ :D So let me recap about that day! Went to college and finished up the card for Tim since TJ has some materials I needed. Then finally gave Pete his much deserved box and chocolates :) and Tim fetched us three to Domino's since Tim got that gift card and voucher thingy. After that, we watched Mulan. Yes the chinese audio movie NOT the Disney cartoon. And I must say, it was pretty good! Well we three like it tremendously! Anyway then went to pick up cake (heh weird indeed to ask the special guest to pick up his cake :P) and met up with the rest for dinner at Mizi's! Oh and we all went to Net City after that and we played Team Fortress 2 or something AND it was fun! :D First time for such things.. Haha.. So a big thank you to all those who made it a success :D

Okay I'm sure you must be pretty bored by now but hey, I don't really care! I didn't ask you to read this :)

Woof.